


Battle of the Abs

by NegativNein



Category: Justice League (2017), Thor (Movies), Wonder Woman (2017)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 10:34:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14211285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NegativNein/pseuds/NegativNein
Summary: "Thor, King of Asgard""Arthur, King of Atlantis"Or, the Revengers meet the Justice League.





	Battle of the Abs

Having successfully reached Midgard with their cargo of Asgardian refugees, Thor set about parlaying with the humans for asylum, offering information about the upcoming threat of Thanos' army to prove his goodwill.  
He thought he would be relaying all his information to the Mighty Avengers, and was looking forward to meeting his old shield brothers, but he was told he needed to meet with a new team of mighty heroes, called the Justice League.

Thor was confident in his diplomacy skills, and approached this new challenge of communication with an open mind. His brother Loki and dear Valkyrie of course offered their own unique support.

_"Thor, brother, I beseech you, please do not pick a fight with our new allies in the first five minutes. Just introduce yourself, please, and try to observe their character."_

_"I hate to agree with Loki here, but can't you take the Big Guy along? He's better at talking than you are!"_

With such warm support at his back Thor strode confidently into the conference room where the Justice League was waiting.

*  
Thor threw open the doors with great enthusiasm and bellowed "Greetings, mighty warriors of Midgard and Justice!"

Three men, one woman, and two youths - all in colourful costumes - stood waiting. They seemed to be conducting a conversation by means of raised eyebrows and raised corners on thinned lips.

One of the men, tall, broad, and with long hair moved to meet Thor and nodded his greetings.

Mindful of Loki's advice, Thor hastened to introduce himself: "I am Thor, Ruler of Asgard" and offered his hand.

The man clasped his hand in a firm handshake and answered "Arthur, King of Atlantis" - he then turned to his companions with a still raised eyebrow and a small upward inclination of his mouth, a somewhat sardonic expression.

That expression was mirrored by all his companions - Thor was puzzled but bravely forged on, moving towards the second man, who was wearing a most fetching red cape! Surely their sartorial accord would bestow a natural harmony to their interactions: "Greetings, Midgardian!"

"Greetings, Asgardian!" the man replied, with a very firm handshake that left Thor's hand slightly sore, "I am Kal El, Last Son of Krypton."

Undaunted by his faux-pas, Thor moved to the third man, who was wearing a dark armour that reminded Thor of one of the savage beasts of Muspelheim: "Greetings, armoured creature of darkness. What may I call you?"

A cut-glass voice answered "I am Batman, a Knight of Gotham."

He could not see the knight's eyebrows, as they were covered by the mask, and his voice did not betray any amusement, but Thor was somehow suspecting that his introduction wasn't being received with the respect one should naturally grant to the Ruler of Asgard, Protector of the Nine Realms. He would try to impress the youths and the fair shield-maiden by mentioning this last title: in Thor's experience, fair maidens and green youths were often won over by a grand title.

He approached the first youth, who was clad in red: "Greetings, young warrior, I am Thor, King of Asgard, Protector of the Nine Realms!"

The youth smiled and answered "Flash, Saviour of the Universe" with a look and a strange intonation that seemed to convey some amount of meaning to his companions.

Yet Thor suspected this youth was exaggerating his titles, as insecure youngs are prone to do in the presence of more skilled warriors. Thor thus turned back to the Son of El, who looked the most truthful and sincere: "Is it true?"

The kryptonian replied: "Yes, he'll save every one of us" - again in a somewhat melodic intonation -

"Every man, every woman, every child, with a mighty Flash" the King of Atlantis went on in the same vague melody - 

The dark knight explained: "It is foretold in an old and well known saga sung by a departed - yet much missed - bard of great renown" - his admission seemed to brighten the mood on his companions, who were nodding with bright eyes.

Thor, still suspecting some mischief, but unable to contradict his new allies, moved on the second youth, opting to establish his athletic prowess at least with a hearty clip on the dark skinned youth's shoulder: "Greetin--aaahhhhh"

"Sorry, I'm afraid my sweater concealed the metal spikes of my body. I am Victor the Cyborg, Reborn of Krypton and Stone. Do you need medical attention, oh Mighty Thor?"

Thor tried to regroup and dissemble the pain - he hoped his hand would still be functional by the time Loki would be able to heal it. "No assistance required, Man of Stone, but I thank you for your kind offer of aid and succour."

Thor then turned to the fair maiden, who was observing the situation with a kind smile - and still that puzzling twinkle in her eyes. Thor, sensing he needed to impress the maiden somehow after his debacle with the Cyborg, pondered how to frame his address.  
Yes, he would mention the Allfather, his august progenitor, who was regarded as a God in Midgard - surely such an exalted name would dazzle the warriors before him and establish his superior credentials, so that they would agree to let him lead the glorious battle against the Mad Titan!

"Greetings, fair shield-maiden, I am Thor of Asgard, the golden realm that stood on the branches of Yggdrasil, and son of Odin Allfather"

The maiden replied in a clear voice: "Well met, Thor of Asgard. I am Diana, princess of Themyscira, daughter of Zeus, greatest of the Gods, and of Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons."

At these words a scream was heard from behind the door, and a screeching voice went up in a breathless intonation: _"An Amazon!! Loki, take my bottle! How's my hair? Is my breastplate shiny enough? Your idiot brother didn't tell me we were about to meet one of THE AMAZONS! They're, like, the best ever! Oh my! They've stopped talking! Do you think they heard us? Stupid Thor, it's all his fault! Give me back my bottle, I need a drink for this!"_

Thor felt that the introductions went quite well, all things considered.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback, please? (Now officially a one shot, as I can't get the second chapter to work, sorry) - and if you didn't get the Flash thing, it's an old Queen song for a terrible 80's movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfmrHTdXgK4 -- you're welcome! ;)


End file.
